


Where have you been Steve?

by dNcing_UndRwater



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bottom Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Misunderstanding, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Relationship Problems, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve messed up, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, bucky is mentioned like once, but he's sorry, fight, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 03:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dNcing_UndRwater/pseuds/dNcing_UndRwater
Summary: Tony Stark keeps waiting for his boyfriend, Steve Rogers to show up but now he's so tired of waiting he's decided to confront the problem head on. What it results in was a bit more than Tony anticipated, with secrets revealed and both of them a bit more of an emotional mess than intended.





	Where have you been Steve?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first ever FanFic, I'm pretty excited to put it out there. I would love to hear what you think, but mostly enjoy! It pretty angsty, but I feel like it is sort of a happy ending...

Tony paced the length of the bedroom restlessly, his fingers drumming a steady beat against his thigh, his other hand rubbing the back of his neck in a manner that seemed to be an attempt to reassure himself. This continued until the sound of footsteps could be heard at the entrance to his floor of the tower. He stopped by the bathroom door, leaning on the frame, facing the open door of the bedroom, the only thing in between being the bed. From his position he could see Steve, who just walked in, bending down to take of his shoes. Once Steve finished, he looked up at Tony and gave him a tired smile. 

Tony steeled himself, he had been going over the possible outcomes for the conversation he was about to have for the last hour and was riddled with anxiety over the possibility of the horrible ending it could result in. 

“Where have you been Steve?” Tony’s voice gentle but rough, trying to ease into the conversation, with what he wanted to be Steve’s honest reply. Though his shoulders were tensely braced against the door frame and his hand shoved deep into his pockets, his head facing directly at his lovers. 

Steve stood fully and walked to the doorway opposing Tony, hands hanging by his side and shot him a wry smile “Hello Tony, how are you? I’ve been great, thanks for asking.” his voice dripping in a playful sarcasm, but the hesitation in reply portrayed that the question had caught him off guard.

“Where have you been Steve?” Tony repeated the question with more insistence, more gravity. His arms crossed over his chest and his eyes trying to find Steve’s, which were pointing down, staring at the bed that separated them. 

“I’ve been out. With Sam” though the reply was quick, laced within it was a hint of irritation. Steve’s hands were roughly shoved into his hoodie’s pockets as his eyes moved jerkily to quickly look at Tony before moving to a spot that wasn’t quite at eye level “Why are you acting like this Tony?”

Tony responded with a mocking nod, acting as though he found that an adequate answer “I actually saw Sam earlier” he spoke casually “he came by the tower.” He paused, searching Steve’s face for a reaction, nothing showing through a suddenly blank mask, before continuing “which was a little bit unusual, but he was looking for you. Said he hadn’t seen you at all this week.” He raised an eyebrow at Steve, wordlessly asking for an explanation.

Steve’s eyes widen, surprise at actually being caught out clear on his face. It looked like he was trying to form words to explain himself with but all that fell out his mouth was a meagre “oh”.

‘Yeah, oh.’ Tony parroted with a wry smile, gestured with his hands for Steve to say something, to explain what warranted such a blatant lie, straight to his face. He looked at his boyfriend of over a year, waiting. He felt like he’d been doing too much of that recently; waiting for Steve. 

He’d waited hours for Steve to come to bed, falling in the process asleep multiple times. He’d waited for him to turn up for movie nights, saving spaces next to him, trying to ignore the obvious sympathetic glances he’d continually get from the rest of the team. He’d waited at restaurants, at parks, he’d waited only for Steve to come late or not come at all. It seemed like now was one of the times Steve was going to leave Tony waiting. 

Steve stood there looking anywhere but Tony, biting his lip so much Tony was almost concerned that he would draw blood.

“What’s going on Steve?” Tony pleaded quietly, begging Steve to give him a reason to believe that their relationship was salvegable, that there was still a flicker of trust between them. That they hadn’t come this far for it all to crumble. His hands were grasped together tightly in front of his stomach, an attempt to hide the tremor running through them. 

Steve finally looked at him “nothing, I swear, I just got mixed up”. Eyes dropping as soon as he said it. 

Tony sighed. 

“We both know that’s not true” though his voiced was still hushed, Tony began to sound more resigned “so one more time, what is going on?”. 

Suddenly Steve straightened up, something that Tony observed he did frequently when he felt cornered, when the frustration was building up to be too much “I don’t know what you want me to say!” he glared at the bathroom behind Tony, his fist clenched by his sides. “What are you trying to achieve by asking me these questions anyway Tony?” 

The cool Tony was trying to maintain was slipping, replacing his feeling of a losing fight was replaced with a deep annoyance, not only with Steve but with himself for allowing this to happen to him. 

“I’m trying to get you to tell me the truth for once Steve!” He spat out, the aggravation clearly written on his face and felt within his words “I want you to actually look me in the eye and tell me what the hell is going on, why your being like this” he threw his hands up in the air as he spoke. 

Steve stood resolutely, keeping his mouth shut, resembling a petulant child. 

Tony sighed, shoving his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes with his palms. 

“Okay” Tony seemingly spoke to himself “okay”. He lifted his head from his hands and looked at Steve sadly “I love you, you know that right?”. 

“Of course, Tony!” the sudden change in tone took Steve of guard, but the reply was genuine “I love you too.”

He was looking at Tony now, worried about the sudden sombre aura that floated around Tony’s words. 

“It’s okay if you don’t anymore” Tony reassured “that’s fine, I’d just prefer it if you didn’t pretend”. Tony felt his heart break as he spoke, but he knew he was doing the right thing. He was a genius; he could tell when someone wasn’t enjoying their relationship anymore. Steve was to nice to hurt Tony, so Tony had to do it for him. Tony had to let him go before it got to a point where Steve felt to trapped, though to him it was obvious he already felt that way. 

“What?” came Steve’s shocked reply, his mouth gaping “Tony, I wouldn’t lie about that, I love you” he made to walk around the bed, wanting to kick himself, soothe the misunderstanding that was happening because of him. 

“Isn’t that what this is about though?” Tony choked out a laugh, standing as still as statue even when Steve was in front of him, gently grasping his upper arms “your never around anymore, you’re lying about where you’ve been, your missing dates and movie nights. It can only mean one thing, Steve, you don’t want this- “he motioned to both of them “-anymore”. 

Tears were gathering in Tony’s eyes, his warm brown orbs flickering with sadness and acceptance. Up this close Steve could really see Tony’s face, he suddenly saw what he’d neglected to see over the past months. The few grey hairs dotting Tony’s scalp that weren’t there at Christmas, the stress lines that found a home by Tony’s eyes and the constant look of longing in his eyes that definitely wasn’t present at the start of his and Steve’s relationship. 

It happened all of a sudden but Steve was hit with the realisation that in this moment, what he did, would either mean that he would lose Tony forever or maybe, if the right words were said – honest words – he could rescue the best thing that has ever happened to him.

“Tony” Steve began “I have been a very crappy boyfriend recently”. 

Tony opened his mouth to intervene, but Steve placed an index finger over his lips, preventing him from talking. 

“I need to apologise for that because I’ve been neglecting you.” He said it very calmly though just as much as he could feel Tony shaking, Tony could feel him shaking as well.  
Steve guided them both to sit on the edge of the bed; thinking that this would go better sitting. He gathered Tony’s hands in his own and continued “I love you so much, and recently I haven’t been as good at showing you that as I should be. I need to get this clear though, I do not want to end this relationship. At all. Ever” 

Tony nodded slowly, tears now slowly making their way down his cheeks, not looking very convinced. Steve sighed sadly, knowing that this was his doing. 

Steve took in a deep breath “the reason I’ve been so absent recently is because of Bucky”. He looked at Tony, searching for a reaction. Tony’s head swung up to stare a Steve, looking confused, but choosing to not comment when Steve minutely shook his head.

“I found out that Bucky wasn’t dead about two or three months ago now and I guess that’s when I started acting weird” Steve began, his voice steady but the shaking in his hands worse “and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think I was ready to share that with any of you yet, I thought I had nothing left from my past but then I find out that I do and I want to keep that to myself. I should’ve told you, or at least told I had something going on, so I am so sorry.” 

By the time he had finished Steve had joined Tony in silently crying, wet tears marks marking his cheeks. He gently lifted his left hand to cup the side of Tony’s face, brushing away the tears from underneath his eyes.

“I hope you can forgive me” Steve whispered. 

A hand was lifted to cover Steve’s hand on Tony’s face. A sigh of relief slipped through Steve’s lips as Tony pressed a kiss into his palm. 

“Steve, I understand why you didn’t tell me, I understand why you wanted to keep it to yourself, but you should’ve told me something” Tony responded quietly, tentatively “but I love you and I want to support you through what your going through.” His hand that was still in Steve’s lap went a grasped the front of Steve’s hoodies, like he was holding onto him to keep him physically. 

“Thank you, you don’t know how much- “Steve started but Tony beckoned him to be quiet. 

“Saying that, you’ve been treating me really, really badly and I’m not going to be with you if you make me feel like this again” he sounded upset as he spoke but was certain in his decision “I can’t put myself through this again, I cant let you put me through again” He hit him halfheartedly on the chest to emphasise his point. “You’ve been an absolute dick Steve.” Came out in a wet sob, sending Tony into more sobs until he was crying into Steve’s neck. 

Steve put his arms around him, hugging him and repeating “I am so sorry” into his hair as he rocked them both back and forth; his own regrets dampening Tony’s hair. In those moments that followed, as the genius wept and the soldier held him, Steve saw the full extent of the damage he inflicted. He noted that in this relationship he couldn’t afford to just think about himself, he had another person he had to consider and he hadn’t done that in a while, and though he knew neither would ever be perfect, this mess was his and he vowed to never let it happen again.

After minutes had passed and Tony’s breathing had regulated Steve lifted his chin so he could meet Tony’s eyes. 

“Take as long as you need to forgive me” Steve said “and if I ever make you feel like this again, I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve you now, but I am so blessed to have you. I’m going to do better. I promise.”


End file.
